The Other Woman

I have never knowingly settled into a relationship as the other woman.  To my knowledge, I've never been the main chick or the side chick either.  If we are in a relationship, and I don't think I'm the one and only...I am out.  If we're dating and I feel like we've been dating long enough to know whether we want to take it to the next level or not, but he still wants to see other people...I move on.  Because that's what I do, it's hard for me to understand women who knowingly share a man, when they know they want a monogamous relationship with him.


My coworker is married and fully aware of the side chick.  She knows that when her husband says he's "going to visit his mom and will most likely spend the night", that he is with the other woman.  She knows who the other woman is. The other woman is aware of her.  The other woman makes sure she lets all of Facebook know that her "boo" came to see her and stayed the night (she also tags him in her posts).  Though he has blocked his wife on FB, she will log in as someone else to see not only his FB page, but the GFs as well.


I listen to her tell me how much of a loser the other woman is because she works part-time as a cashier.  I listen to her criticize this woman's looks.  I listen to her constantly question what this woman can offer him and I really try to hold my tongue because I think both women are being stupid in this situation.  I did tell her that the reasons why he choses to be with this woman are not what she should ask.  She should ask herself, the reasons why she stays with him.


She says she's scared to start over, but I don't know...I feel like it's something more than that, though I can not see what the "something more" is.  He is a leech.  He does not work and spends all her money.  He used her money to buy her and the GF the same outfit.  They have been married two years and have not had sex in just as many years - ...no sex...the entire marriage.  He is mean.  He will call the office to yell at her or curse her out.  He hits her.  She has shown me pictures of the bruising. 


Starting over has to be better than living in that kind of hell, but obviously I don't get it.  I try to listen to her as opposed to offering my opinion, but it's becoming hard to do that.  The whole situation is draining.  I'm pretty sure I'm annoying my man by constantly telling him about it, so I'm leaving it here.

Office Politics

The two executives I support, report directly to the CEO, which means I also work pretty closely with the CEOs assistant.  She is loud, pushy, a bit of a control freak, and she has this demeanor like you shouldn't bother her because she is too busy for you…even when she is not.  Recently we had an issue or SHE had an issue, because I really didn't.

She needed my manager for a meeting with the CEO.   She sends him a note asking if he can make himself available.  He does not respond, so later when she sees me…she goes off.  "I was trying to reach your boss and he didn't respond!  I'm sick of this!  He always does this and it causes unnecessary delays.  I've had it…I'm going to _____ (the CEO)."  She is loud, her voice is escalating with each word, and her facial expressions suggest going to the CEO is going to mean bad business for my manager.

Ok, now personally, I don't get what the big deal is.  She sits directly in front of his office.  If he didn't get back to her fast enough with a response, I don't understand why she didn't knock on his door (he is totally approachable) or ask me for his availability.  I asked her why she didn't come to me.  I mean…I'm only his assistant.  She is so busy loudly ranting with her indignation over my boss neglecting to get back to her (like who does he think he is not responding to her?!!!) that she doesn't respond to my question.

Later I ask my manager if he received a note from her.  He checks while I'm in his office…the note she says she sent…it's not there.  I let him know that she was pretty upset about not being able to schedule a meeting today and also let him know that she says she is going to speak to the CEO about his inability to respond timely.   He says, "That's fine.  I'll have a talk with her and she can go to the CEO if she likes."  He also referred to her as a bully and said that he was glad I didn't sit near her to hear half of the things she says on the phone to people.  He and I moved on to other things, so I didn't think much of it until he called me back in to his office to tell me about his conversation with her.

I'm told she was combative and said she didn't like that I told him, because I should have let her know I was going to do that first!!   o_O     O_o      -____-

He says he told her that it was good I told him, because he wanted to clear things up…that he wasn't ignoring her…that he didn't see a message from her…but if she felt otherwise she is more than welcome to go to the CEO…that she doesn't need to use that as a threat…etc.

By the time he finished telling me everything, I knew she was going to hate me.  I knew she would take this as some kind of personal attack, so I wasn't too surprised that she completely stopped speaking to me unless I speak to her first.  She will walk pass me and not say a word, but speak to others.  I'm ok with us not saying good morning and not speaking unless it is necessary.  What I don't like is that she seems to be taking her frustration out on the receptionist because of me.

I am pretty cool with the receptionist.  As the receptionist's supervisor, she has started to tell her, that talking to me is affecting her job negatively.  If the receptionist is at my desk (we could be in a work related conversation), the CEO's assistant will say something about her talking too much.  If the receptionist and I are about to go to lunch, the CEO's assistant will suddenly need her to do something IMMEDIATELY like prepare a package that will not even get picked up by UPS until AFTER 5pm.  If she gives the receptionist a task, she expects it done IMMEDIATELY and will question her on why it is not done yet.   She will also want to know what she is working on and chastise her. 

She recently questioned the receptionist on word usage for an email that went out.  Apparently, the receptionist neglected to add a comma in a sentence, so she felt compelled to loudly point out this grammatical error to her.  I didn't witness any of this happening before my run in with her, but now it is all day every day.  I have asked the receptionist not to openly speak to me.

At lunch one day, I talked to the receptionist and let her know what happened with the CEOs assistant and my manager.  She already knew.  She says that the CEO's assistant was hurt that I went to HR about what she said.  I didn't purposely go to HR…I went to my manager.  He just happens to be the top HR exec and a board member of the company.  I honestly didn't do it to be malicious, but if she was concerned about that, then she shouldn't have been openly berating and threatening him.  I didn't want him to hear about it from someone else and wonder why I didn't bring it to his attention.  She also told the receptionist that she thinks I hate her because I don't speak to her anymore.   I don't hate her, but I don't like her enough to be phoney with her.  Last week, I found out she resigned – her last day is May 1^st. 

Is it wrong that I am oh so happy about that? :D

That Moment When...

…you leave your current employer of 14 years (where you are the HBIC **sort of**)…to work at a company where you have issues with the CEO’s HBIC (she started)…AND THEN SHE RESIGNS!!!

LOOK AT GOD!!