I had a long talk with my bestie yesterday. She mentioned that her ex's daughter would be on a new episode of Beyond Scared Straight. I have blogged about this little girl before. She was the 11 year old who fashioned a homemade dildo by putting a stale vienna sausage in a condom. I can't find the post to link it, but she is now 14 or 15 years old and even more out of control.
When the dildo incident happened, her father gave her a beating, and refused to talk to her about sex. I can understand not wanting to accept that an 11 year old is THAT curious, but I really failed to see how beating her was going to stop the curiosity. If anything, it probably made her more curious, and better at hiding sexual activity.
Last year (when she was about 13) there was a pregnancy scare. Even though her dad and my friend are no longer together, this girl still confides in my friend. She had confided, that she was "late" and unsure of who could be the father because there had been multiple partners in a short period of time. It turned out to be a false alarm, but at this point my friend had to get the dad involved to get the kid some counseling, birth control, and to have her tested for STDs. Do you know what he said when he found out she was sexually active and had the pregnancy scare?
Something like: "I'm not getting her any thing! If she is stupid enough to have sex with a bunch of boys and stupid enough to get pregnant, then she deserves what she gets!"
I don't know...but to me that sounds very close to a green light for the girl to keep doing what she's doing. Her dad is in his 40's, but his brain seems to be stuck in the dark ages, but what do I know. On one hand, you don't want to outright condone sex to a 13/14 year old, but on the other hand doing/saying nothing is even worse.
Today, she is very sexually active. She's angry and destructive. She had told my friend that she thinks something is wrong with her. She had begged her father to take her to be evaluated and he would not do it. I just think it's so sad when a child takes the time to research a mental or emotional or developmental issue and the parent won't even consider it or at least take the kid to the doctor so whatever might be wrong can be ruled out.
My friend says, the girl gets suspended EVERY week (literally) for fighting, instigating fights, and being an all around trouble maker. Every where she goes, people want to fight her. She has also been caught in school engaging in sexual activities in the bathroom with boys.
Going on Beyond Scared Straight is supposed to shake some sense in to her. We shall see. At the very least, I was happy to know the dad finally recognizes this child has a problem that can not be beaten out of her, and he also got her some counseling. My friend says the counseling is helping somewhat. I hope her dad gets counseling as well...because there has to be something going on with him (something internal), that causes him to be so dismissive of his daughter.